


Dead-again Daniel

by seanchaidh



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Angst, Gen, Missing Scene, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1999-09-01
Updated: 1999-09-01
Packaged: 2018-01-09 12:03:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1145763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seanchaidh/pseuds/seanchaidh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Missing scene for "Out of Mind." A not-so-brief reflection on death, apparent death, the depth of pain, and the value of friendship. Sequel to Jmas' "The Last Time I Died."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dead-again Daniel

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Last Time I Died](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/34553) by Jmas. 



The first time Daniel Jackson died, I hardly knew him. He was a civilian member of my team, added at the last minute by the discretion of my commanding officer. He wasn't exactly the type of person I'd pick for a mission. Being a civilian is one thing, but a sneezing, clumsy, scruffy and head-strong civilian is something completely different. Within the first few hours of reaching our destination through the Stargate, I think more than half of my men were ready to beat the dweeb when he sheepishly admitted that he couldn't get us home.

But he did. That's another story, though, or at least another part of the story.

We were captured by Ra, and being the trusty soldier that I am, I was ready to fight my way out of it. One of his Jaffa, though I'm not really sure whether they were Jaffa, tried to shoot me with his staff weapon. Daniel saw it happening before I did, and before facts registered in my brain instead of instinct, I had one dead archaeologist on my hands. As long as I remained conscious, that is.

The entire mission was supposed to be a one-way trip for me. Military paranoia sometimes pays off, because while we didn't know what we'd find on Abydos, we naturally assumed it would be hostile. And Ra was as hostile a creature as anything I'd ever seen. No, make that worse. As I later told Daniel, I was to remain behind to destroy the Stargate to make sure the enemy couldn't come through to Earth.

My mind was made up, but I don't think my soul and my heart were prepared to go through with my orders. I just didn't want to hear what they had to say, because those thoughts invariably turned to my son. When Daniel took that staff blast in my place, I heard the protest inside me. If someone I barely knew was willing to put their life at death's door in my place, didn't that mean something?

I don't think there's an expression that covers the surprise I felt when I saw him the next morning, appearing at Ra's side. I hadn't slept the night before. I don't think any of us did in that water-filled cell, our first taste of first-class Goa'uld accommodations. But seeing that scruffy, squinting figure at the top of the ramp with the hole in his jacket that clearly told what he'd once been, I was both relieved from the guilt of losing a man under my command, and obviously surprised to see him alive again.

And that began the career of Dead-again Daniel. Danny boy, the Space Monkey. The man with more lives, I hope, than a cat.

**

The event of his second death, I really wasn't around to see it. I was dead, too. Our lame attempt to ambush our old buddy Apophis backfired, and we ended up barbecued. I was the first to go, then Carter and Daniel. Thanks to the Nox, Teal'c managed to vanish before Snakeboy's eyes.

Being dead is... interesting. One might say that I'd already been given a second chance, after Daniel convinced me on Abydos that life was far more enjoyable than death. My third chance, I guess?

All I know of this event is that when I woke up, I knew I was dead. Or that I was supposed to be dead. If that isn't confusion, I don't know what is. Dead-again Daniel doesn't seem to be too confused. I guess this coming back to life thing should be better left to younger people...

**

I was convinced he was gone the third time. Third time's the charm, right? That, and the nightmare image of Daniel burning to death on the shore of Oannes' lake or ocean or whatever you want to call that body of water. It's an image that still comes to me, even if I don't want to admit it. Hell isn't just fire. It's both fire and water together.

When we tried to cope with our teammate's death, I think we found out that Daniel was much more than a coworker. More than a friend. The four of us, we were family, and I wasn't ready to cope with the idea of losing yet another family member. So I tried to take the easy way out, by seriously contemplating retirement yet again.

If I ever meet that Nem again, I sincerely can't tell you what I'd do to him. I know the reasons for why he kidnapped Daniel and brainwashed us into thinking that the Space Monkey was dead, but I don't think I'll be able to forgive him.

I do know one thing. When Daniel was standing on that beach, alive and well, but looking for all the world like a drowned rat, I felt relieved. Relieved and glad that we'd figured out why, as a team, we were having conflicting feelings about what we'd apparently witnessed days before. Thanks to MacKenzie's "bark like chicken" routine, we were able to return to find out the truth behind Daniel's... disappearance, for lack of a better term.

It was gratifying to see Daniel alive, knowing that our small family was whole again, its fragile stability together again. After Daniel caught up on his sleep, I took us all out to the local sushi joint, despite Dead-again Daniel's mock protests. Heck, it was just worth it to see Teal'c's face when we explained what exactly sushi was. Jaffa have no nerves on their tongue, by the way, since Teal'c ate all the wasabi without flinching. I shudder at the thought.

It would have been nice if this was the last time we worried about Daniel's mortality, but that would make life a little too easy, no?

**

We should have known better, and talk about deja vu. This time, I was sure he was dead. I held absolutely no hope that Daniel could have possibly survived that staff wound that had half his shoulder and chest barbecued. Not to mention the C-4 when the timer finally went off. The ship was going to blow, we all knew that, and if we didn't get our asses in gear, the other ship would survive and Earth would be toast.

Bringing Daniel, who couldn't walk on his own, would have meant our world's destruction, and common military necessity dictated that we had to leave the wounded behind. Daniel knew that, and heroically shooed me off with the half-hearted promise that he'd watch our backs.

But still, I faltered, not wanting to leave him alone. I still wonder about what happened, about why I left him alone outside in the corridor in the first place. All the ride down to Earth and back to Colorado, I kept asking that question. I could have left Carter, she would have been able to do the job, probably without getting herself fried in the meantime.

No, that wasn't, and isn't, fair to Daniel. He handled himself better than I could have imagined less than a year ago. There's nothing that says that I wouldn't have been the one lying there if I'd remained in his place.

I've replayed that damned scenario over in my head countless times. So many that I'm actually surprised that the lunatic on P7J989 didn't pick that memory to put into his virtual reality machine thingie. I never thought of the sarcophagus in the few moments before I left Daniel. I could have brought him there. Or brought him with us. Or... what?

Done something that would have cost us Earth, that's what.

With Oannes, I was seriously considering retirement with Daniel's pseudo-death. Leaving behind my friend and teammate on Klorel's ship with the rest of my team and Bra'tac, we all expected to die on the other ship along with Snakeboy and son. That suited me just fine that time. The team that fights together, dies together.

Nope, we somehow got out of that one alive, while in the meantime my heart was being torn apart as I thought about our lost teammate. Not even the proverbial cat could get out of that mess.

Hence the Space Monkey. I promised myself never to underestimate Daniel again. He dragged himself to the sarcophagus, and somehow got in. Made it to the Stargate before the C-4 party began. Took a detour to the Alpha site before returning home.

I knew something was up when Hammond announced that there was someone who wanted to see us, and that deja vu thing was really starting to niggle me as the rest of the SGC moved to allow the aforementioned someone to nudge forward. How the hell did they fit that many people into the 'Gateroom anyway?

I'm a soldier; we pride ourselves with our detached and only-as-emotional-as-minimally-required exteriors. Added to that fact that I'm a guy, so I'm not exactly known for elaborate displays of emotion, except the odd temper tantrum. I blew all traces of that away.

Daniel was there, looking tentatively at us as we stared in shock. The way he looked, in retrospect, was kind of sheepish, as though uncomfortable with the way we were looking blankly at him. The kind of "aw, shucks," look that he does so well whenever we give him any praise.

The realization finally sank into my brain that, yes, it was indeed Daniel standing in front of us looking as though he also wasn't sure if we were real. Of course, there was that lingering thought in my mind that I was hallucinating, so while I was grinning like a fool, I went to hug my very solid and alive friend. Then I patted his head a few times, and officially dubbed Dead-again Daniel the Space Monkey before letting Sam have her turn hugging Daniel.

We had a mighty big celebration that night, and the next few days were spent bringing everyone home from the Alpha site. We didn't think too much about how close we really came to losing Daniel this time, or we tried not to. It haunted us in our dreams, especially Daniel's, and we all tried not to think about it.

Until death tried to come knocking yet again.

**

I think I nailed it on the head on P3R636. Dead-again Daniel is surprisingly hard to kill. And that's a good thing. Except this time it landed us all in more proverbial doodoo than an elephant, a cow and a mastadge combined.

We never really thought about the purpose of the sarcophagus, other than the fact that it healed me once of being Hathor's first prime, and two times it restored Daniel back to being one piece. We should have guessed that anything that was Goa'uld had something nasty to go with it, and third time's the charm, they say. When it happened, it happened, big time.

Daniel was playing hero again, though that's really not what we should call it. For the same reason he got fried by the Jaffa on Abydos in my place, he rescued that ditzy princess from that cliff that she so rightly deserved to drop off. For his gallant effort, we earned the unenviable accommodation of Chateau Naquadah Mines.

The escape could have worked, but I screwed up yet again as leader, almost as bad as my misjudgment on Klorel's ship. I didn't wait for the fake Jaffa to unlock Daniel before we gave the guards a taste of their own union-deprived medicine. And thus had a lagging archaeologist, and an impromptu cave-in that nearly killed him.

We were forced to dig him out of the rubble, and I didn't need to look at him to know that he was in serious trouble. We needed to get him home, quickly, but I hadn't even opened my mouth before the three of us were locked up again, and Daniel was whisked off somewhere.

I didn't think I'd ever see him again, but that damned sarcophagus did its thing and put him back together again. I was happy to see him, but suspicious of the oddity and the fishiness of the entire scenario that the princess -- no first name basis yet -- had us stuck in. He was so sure he'd get us out of that godforsaken mine, he just needed time.

I heard that excuse again when he came back, a stranger because he was addicted to the sarcophagus. The bitch, and I won't hesitate from calling her that, wanted her fragile fairy-tale hero in olive BDU's to stay to make things remain happily ever after. What better way than get him addicted to something that would ensure he'd stay on the planet, so he could get another buzz of sarcophagus, and for him to think he was in love with her?

We nearly lost him again, when he was falling to pieces while going through withdrawal. Hell, he nearly killed me after doing his escape-routine and nearly pulling Janet's arm out of its socket. But Dead-again Daniel pulled through, admittedly not without our staunch support, but at the end of it, he was in one piece again. Physically and mentally and psychologically.

**

The sixth and hopefully final time Daniel Jackson died, was apparently some seventy-eight years ago. Some battle or ambush that I can't seem to remember. I'm told that Teal'c and Carter died with him, and that somebody decided that I would make a nifty icecube before delivering me home to the SGC.

Now why don't I buy that?

It's because my family is dead, apparently, and no one accepts something without physical proof. At least, I don't, anyway. All I know is what that Major General Trofsky and Doctor Raleigh are telling me while sorting through my memories like they're highlights of this year's top movies for the Emmys. Do they even have the Emmys anymore?

It's because Daniel's got more frequent flyer miles to the afterlife than anyone else in human history, and I'm expecting somebody to burst through this lab's doorway yelling, "Surprise, Jack! You're on Candid Camera!" Or something like that. The way Daniel felt when he was stuck in that alternate reality courtesy of P3R233's mirror thingie, about this all being a practical joke.

Come on, Dead-again Daniel. Make your appearance, will you? The joke can only last so long before it gets old, and this one is approaching its senior moment any minute now.

I got that bloody purple stuff that was seeping into my upper chest to stop coming in. Unbelievably strong sedative, but not strong enough for me when I put my mind to it. I think I heard something Goa'uld-ish in the background, in the voices of Trofsky and Raleigh. Wish I could understand more than the general context of that "kree" word Apophis, Hathor and company always bellow out.

Something's definitely fishy, and I'm going to find out what's up. Ready or not, here I come.

And I expect to find one Dead-again Daniel, AKA the Space Monkey. He's going to ruin his reputation if he really did die this time.

Besides, I'll kill him if he is. Easy.

Now, off to get clothes that don't look so conspicuous...

*fin*

 


End file.
